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As an immigrant from a non-Dutch speaking country, whether temporary or permanent, with children, you face some hard choices. Do you send your children to a local school or to an international one, what language should you speak at home, what if the parents already speak different languages? Is it “safe” to introduce yet another one?
When are you bilingual?
The definition of a bilingual person is someone who speaks two languages fluently. It really all hangs on your definition of what is fluent. Some people believe you are not truly fluent unless you can also think and/or dream in that language. Others find it a requirement to be able to speak that language without a “foreign” accent. For others it is not just about language but also about cultural heritage.
Introducing a new language
Most children under 10, when moving to a new country, will be able to pick up the language of that country fairly quickly through immersion, particularly when attending school in the new language. It is not necessary for the new language to be spoken at home, but as the child grows it is very important for them to be exposed to grown-up language, not just the vocabulary that their peers would use. This can be achieved by making books in that language available and by watching the news or children’s news daily.
For children over 10 it is going to be more difficult. This has to do with the ‘wiring’ of the brain and the functioning of the ears. However, most children with encouragement, immersion, stimulation and extra classes will get there in a relatively short space of time.
A minority of children will always struggle, even if they are very intelligent. Make sure to support them and provide them with other means of expressing themselves such as music or sport.
How do you raise a bilingual child from the start?
There are a few key factors that allow for success in raising a bilingual child from the start:
- The first is consistency, the key educational tool.
- The second is your comfort level with the language(s).
- The third is your child’s personality.
Choosing the language
Let me start with the second point. You will need to pick a language to speak to your child in. The language you pick should be the one you feel most comfortable with and in particular the one you are most comfortable expressing feelings in. This will allow you to bond more easily with your child and allow you to keep this pattern through time (forever basically).
- It could be that for your co-parent this is a different language and there may be a third language outside home.
- Also, what language will you all speak together?
- It is not so much about which language you choose, but about whether you will be able to sustain it.
Consistency
Which brings me to consistency. Studies show over and over that consistency is key. Do not mix your languages. Always be the parent that speaks that one language to your child. It takes patience and strength to keep speaking your language when your child speaks back to you in the language of the other parent or that of school. When the child is learning to speak, you may wish to approach it, by repeating the word the child has said (in whatever language) and then saying the word/sentence again in your own language. E.g. child says “koekje”. You say: “koekje” and then: “would you like a biscuit?” and then carry on in English. In the beginning your child will mix up the two languages and construct wonderful bilingual sentences or use the grammar from one language in the other. Don’t worry, this is completely normal. Up until 3 or (even) 5 years of age, your child may not even realize there are different languages or that they are mixing them up. Just be patient and consistent.
[It is a good idea to inform the daycare/peuterspeelzaal/school that you are raising your child bilingually. Stress the ABSOLUTE importance of the carer/teacher to speak their own language and not try and speak the child’s language. There is a lot of ignorance about raising bilingual children and you may find professionals trying to dissuade you or point out developmental delays in your child which they blame on bilingualism. Whilst it is true that a good proportion of bilingual children do begin to speak later than their monolingual peers, when they do, they speak well and it has been proven to increase their IQs compared to peers. Note also that it is far more important to sing with your child, read to your child, talk to your child in ANY language, than it is to speak one language at home. The children who do poorly at kindergarten and school tend to be those raised on an absence of language stimulation than those from a “foreign” background.]
If you have multiple children, you may notice that once they go to school they will speak the school´s language amongst themselves rather than the home language. There again, keep speaking your language to them. It is up to you whether you make them speak your language back. It will certainly improve their skills, but it depends on the child.
Personality
Which brings me neatly to personality. If you have a child who is for example shy and/or doesn’t want to stand out, they may be very reluctant to speak in your language, especially in public, and even be upset when you do.
You may have a child who obstinately refuses to speak to you in your language, maybe as a power tool or just wilfulness or naughtiness or even perfectionism.
The child’s interests also play a huge part. If they want to explore your language and culture, they will need to be able to speak and read the language, so they have extra motivation.
It is completely up to you of course as to how you want to deal with your child. It may end up being a compromise between harmony and happiness on the one side and level of perfection of the bilingualness on the other side.
Learning yet another language
Some people who have been raised bilingually indicate that it is easier for them to learn additional languages, e.g. later on at school or even as a grown-up. Within my own environment, with my admittedly limited experience, I would say that natural aptitude plays a stronger role.
My own experiences
Growing up in an English-speaking household, but going to a French-speaking kindergarten and living in the French-speaking part of Belgium, I was soon fluent in both and was even able to translate between adults at age 4-5.
However, we moved away when I was ten. What remains is a near-native accent and an ability to get sentence construction right. However, despite having studied in France for a brief period in my early twenties, much of my vocabulary has been lost over time. If you don’t use it, you lose it!
My work required me to be able to communicate at least at a basic level in Dutch, French, German, Spanish, Italian and Swedish. German was always a struggle, but I definitely covered the basics in the others. Now ten years later, much of that is sadly lost. At least in language in its purest form, but the ability to communicate with people from different backgrounds, countries and languages remains. Perhaps that is the greatest gift that being bi, or even multilingual has given me.
I am now raising 4 children (ages 7-13) with a Dutch husband. My two middle children were born in the UK, my first and last here. My husband and I speak Dutch together and the children attend a Dutch school. I try to speak English to the children. My eldest child enjoyed a year at primary in England and an additional term two years ago in Wales. He is very much interested in British and American history. In order to pursue his interests, he reads a lot (both books and on the internet) in English. He is the only one of my children who will speak to me in English voluntarily. He is enrolled in an advanced English programme at school and will be sitting for the Cambridge English Certificates. He has no aptitude whatsoever for French or German.
My second child has only been to school for one term in the UK. She prefers reading English to Dutch, but only speaks English when she must. She has a great aptitude for languages and wants to go to a Gymnasium so she can do Latin and Greek too.
My third child has a great pronunciation in English, but avoids speaking it at all costs and doesn’t enjoy reading in English.
My youngest refuses point-blank to speak English (except at school for the one term in Wales). He reads in English but at a very basic level and his vocabulary is limited.
All in all, a very mixed bag. If I assess how I have done in raising bilingual children? Well they are not truly bilingual, but at least 3 of them have an excellent passive knowledge; two have good, maybe even near-fluent active knowledge, and they have the tools to pick up English when and if they want to.
However, like so many bilingual families, our conversation at the dinner table is a mix of Dutch and English, not consistently split, not always grammatically correct, but never mind, it is very gezellig!